Obviously I am too confused with my life. It shall not be said in present tense. Hum confused the, confused he or confused rahenge.. Koi haal mein tho rahna hai na tho meine socha isse acha haal naheen milega... Koi bhee galathi karo aur bol dena.. i was confused.. I didnt know what I was doing.. then sad smiley dikha dena....
So I am facing it bit difficult to comprehend the strange things happening around me because I am confused. ;-)
Aaj sunday hai aur office mein baitke aisa lagtha hai kee khidki se kood jaoon.. magar kidki khol naheen paya isliye abhee bhee office mein hee hun... Not only that it was heavily raining and even if dead muche bheegna naheen hai..
Ithna hee nahen.. my eyes are puffy and red.. yeh isliye kee zindagi ke complexities ke baare mein sochkar kal teek tarah se so nahen payi.. waise aisa tho har din naheen hotha hai tho I was ok with that, I am not insomniac.
I feel puling the eye balls of my shopping maniac friends for their insensibility to any other activity or happening in the world. Chee I am not blaming and all.. just expressing my helplessnes.. waise kar phee kya sakthe hai na.. I cannot give them lecture on global warning and importance of utilizing resources in a more sensible way.. err.. i cannot be hermionish. waise yesterday i completed reading harry potter and deathly hallows for the 05th time. July hai tho hamein yaad tho karna chahiye na us bandhe ko.
I called my sister and after talking for 17 seconds she told me that she will call back and since it is happening for around 6-7 times for the last couple of weeks, I felt irritated and threw the phone in the cushion. Neeche naheen bhek sakthi, mobile tho mera hai na.. and I decided for the umpteen time that I will not call her again.
And in fact since it is my habit to talk rubbish I will go on if I stick to it.. kaam hai bohath.. kal Monday hai aur kithne gaaliyan dene hai aur sunne he yeh muche phee naheen patha..
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Life and the miseries (mystery)
Hey is it fair that humans are provided with too short a life span? The life span provided is not at all enough
to commit the mistake and correct it.
Actually I was having deep thoughts regarding this issue. The initial 2 years from our birth we spent crying and sleeping. The the next two years learning to speak and walk and all those initial stuff. Then we were in a hurry to learn how to count, write and all and that was such a crap and frustrating thing. People keep on pestering us for not learning and doing the home work. So we though that once this school time is over we will be free. I still remember my mom consoling me on the date of my public exam of maths, ' from today you dont have to study maths', I was really happy at that moment. But gradually I learned that till the date you are here maths will not be leaving you. :(
But as hope is the only thing driving us, we still believe that there will be some time where we will be free from all these crap. But at that time we didn't know that what is in store for us in the coming days is hell. And those times were nothing compared to the treat awaiting us for the up coming days. heeeeee
It is really unfair. that we are not given with enough time to commit mistakes and correct it. You know, in life it takes a lot of time to commit mistakes and correct it. Because first we have to understand that we have committed a mistake, that will take at least two three years. Because as stated earlier, hope is the driving
factor and for some more years we have to allocate as testing period, where we check whether corrective action can be taken or not. So finally when we realize that, nothing can be done it will be around 5 -6 years.
That means almost half of our good years are gone. Then again for 3-4 years we spend as a shock period, to recover from the mistake committed.
So almost 10 years gone. So where is the time to live.
Some body has said it, may be Robin Sharma, I dont know, first find out what you really want with your life. But dont they know that to find out what we want, first we have to test it or do some case study. So to do a case study with life, we have to spend some time and the some time can be years. ha..ha
So isn't it better if we have been given with another life time also, where we can rectify things by learning from the mistakes committed in the first stage. And of course earth is such a big thing to explore in one life time, aint it? So what can be better option? Let people do the experiment with their first span of life time. Give them some rest, because they might have suffered a lot with the results of the experiments. Let them reborn with the lessons, enlightment and virtues of the first life. Let people live their life with the fullest with all those knowledge!!!! Isn't it the fair way to live here???
to commit the mistake and correct it.
Actually I was having deep thoughts regarding this issue. The initial 2 years from our birth we spent crying and sleeping. The the next two years learning to speak and walk and all those initial stuff. Then we were in a hurry to learn how to count, write and all and that was such a crap and frustrating thing. People keep on pestering us for not learning and doing the home work. So we though that once this school time is over we will be free. I still remember my mom consoling me on the date of my public exam of maths, ' from today you dont have to study maths', I was really happy at that moment. But gradually I learned that till the date you are here maths will not be leaving you. :(
But as hope is the only thing driving us, we still believe that there will be some time where we will be free from all these crap. But at that time we didn't know that what is in store for us in the coming days is hell. And those times were nothing compared to the treat awaiting us for the up coming days. heeeeee
It is really unfair. that we are not given with enough time to commit mistakes and correct it. You know, in life it takes a lot of time to commit mistakes and correct it. Because first we have to understand that we have committed a mistake, that will take at least two three years. Because as stated earlier, hope is the driving
factor and for some more years we have to allocate as testing period, where we check whether corrective action can be taken or not. So finally when we realize that, nothing can be done it will be around 5 -6 years.
That means almost half of our good years are gone. Then again for 3-4 years we spend as a shock period, to recover from the mistake committed.
So almost 10 years gone. So where is the time to live.
Some body has said it, may be Robin Sharma, I dont know, first find out what you really want with your life. But dont they know that to find out what we want, first we have to test it or do some case study. So to do a case study with life, we have to spend some time and the some time can be years. ha..ha
So isn't it better if we have been given with another life time also, where we can rectify things by learning from the mistakes committed in the first stage. And of course earth is such a big thing to explore in one life time, aint it? So what can be better option? Let people do the experiment with their first span of life time. Give them some rest, because they might have suffered a lot with the results of the experiments. Let them reborn with the lessons, enlightment and virtues of the first life. Let people live their life with the fullest with all those knowledge!!!! Isn't it the fair way to live here???
Monday, February 23, 2009
Moronic Conversation
Is it just my imagination or am I actually hearing this conversation. It goes like this; the participants we can call A and B.
A: - Do you have any idea what the hell you are doing?
B:- If I had any, then I would not be alive today.. he..he
A:- Stop bluffing and be serious
B:- (making his face in a very serious mode ) OK, tell me what is it that I have done this time.
A:- I am not here to give you a summary of all the bloody stuff you have done..
B:- Oh man relax, why you are using all these beautiful prefixes while you talk to me.. I am soo scared.. ooohh
A:- At some point of time you will regret about the way you are taking your life.
B:- Oh come off it now. I am not a fool not to understand that.
I havent given any words to any body that I will be living till 100 years. As I am not so sure about the span of period I am going to be here, I do not want to cry over unnecessary things.
A:- How mean.
B:- Is it so?
A:- (Too much irritated) Starting to go
B:- Oh come off it man. How you can advice me like this. You know very well the meaninglessness of all these things . Still how can you tell me to waste my life for all these stuff.
A:- You are not a small kid who needs to be to be given an account of good and bad.
B:- When did I ask you to do that?
A:- Oh leave it, there is no point talking to you like this
B:- That is what I am trying to tell you for the last couple of minutes. I am happy that my efforts has shown some result. Ok then buddy. Take care.
A:- Where you are going? I am not done yet.
B:- So you are determined to enlighten me? Give it a break man. Since that day (no idea which day they were talking about :)..), there was not even a single day that you asked how am I? You just keep on advising me on what to do and what not do. Do i ceased to exist or what?
A:- Stop behaving like you are too cool.
B:- I am not behaving like I am too cool and all. I just dont want to waste my life poring over the faults that I have committed from my side. I just cannot stand it. And for your kind info I haven't done any deal in my life that I have to hide from any body. Till this day I haven't done anything that can be defined as wrong in conventional sense. Of course I am mean and arrogant and all those, that I admit.
A:- so what you are going to do now.
B:- Nothing as of now. Let it go the way it is going. I am not going to take any decision on my own. I just do not want to. Just as Fred said, let us take the decision, when we go on. lol.
A:- You should be able to set the priorities in life.
B:- I know I have to.
A:- Then what you are waiting for. Do it now.
B:- I am doing that. I cannot put any guarantee for those things, I myself do not have any guarantee. I just hate it when I have been forced to believe people.
Ok let me make it very clear, I hate me when ever I have to avoid important jobs in order to satisfy the mean and narrow thoughts of people who do not even care about me, those who do not have even the sense to understand in what sort of a turmoil I am. I cannot do compromises to get in to the good books of family members who try to pull rank upon you. I cannot stand the person who keeps popping up again and again like a stupid song stuck in your head and that refuses to go away. I just want to think all is well and good, even if in my mind I know it very well that my world is crashing down. I cannot stand unquestioning authority over me, I will not tolerate people who blame me for their mistakes. Got it?
A:- Again the same stuff itself. Can't you think like a normal kid?
B:- Oh now you are saying that I am not normal also. Ok tell me, then who is normal?
A:- Oh leave it. Just try to understand one thing. There are some systems and you cannot make a fool of others saying all those deals that is valid if we look from our own perspective. We should be able to look from others point of view.
B: - Ok baba. Give me a break now. I have only two ears and I think I had enough for today. The rest we can keep it for tomorrow. Do not exhaust all the advices in a single day itself. Keep it for tomorrow. Lol.
A: - Do you have any idea what the hell you are doing?
B:- If I had any, then I would not be alive today.. he..he
A:- Stop bluffing and be serious
B:- (making his face in a very serious mode ) OK, tell me what is it that I have done this time.
A:- I am not here to give you a summary of all the bloody stuff you have done..
B:- Oh man relax, why you are using all these beautiful prefixes while you talk to me.. I am soo scared.. ooohh
A:- At some point of time you will regret about the way you are taking your life.
B:- Oh come off it now. I am not a fool not to understand that.
I havent given any words to any body that I will be living till 100 years. As I am not so sure about the span of period I am going to be here, I do not want to cry over unnecessary things.
A:- How mean.
B:- Is it so?
A:- (Too much irritated) Starting to go
B:- Oh come off it man. How you can advice me like this. You know very well the meaninglessness of all these things . Still how can you tell me to waste my life for all these stuff.
A:- You are not a small kid who needs to be to be given an account of good and bad.
B:- When did I ask you to do that?
A:- Oh leave it, there is no point talking to you like this
B:- That is what I am trying to tell you for the last couple of minutes. I am happy that my efforts has shown some result. Ok then buddy. Take care.
A:- Where you are going? I am not done yet.
B:- So you are determined to enlighten me? Give it a break man. Since that day (no idea which day they were talking about :)..), there was not even a single day that you asked how am I? You just keep on advising me on what to do and what not do. Do i ceased to exist or what?
A:- Stop behaving like you are too cool.
B:- I am not behaving like I am too cool and all. I just dont want to waste my life poring over the faults that I have committed from my side. I just cannot stand it. And for your kind info I haven't done any deal in my life that I have to hide from any body. Till this day I haven't done anything that can be defined as wrong in conventional sense. Of course I am mean and arrogant and all those, that I admit.
A:- so what you are going to do now.
B:- Nothing as of now. Let it go the way it is going. I am not going to take any decision on my own. I just do not want to. Just as Fred said, let us take the decision, when we go on. lol.
A:- You should be able to set the priorities in life.
B:- I know I have to.
A:- Then what you are waiting for. Do it now.
B:- I am doing that. I cannot put any guarantee for those things, I myself do not have any guarantee. I just hate it when I have been forced to believe people.
Ok let me make it very clear, I hate me when ever I have to avoid important jobs in order to satisfy the mean and narrow thoughts of people who do not even care about me, those who do not have even the sense to understand in what sort of a turmoil I am. I cannot do compromises to get in to the good books of family members who try to pull rank upon you. I cannot stand the person who keeps popping up again and again like a stupid song stuck in your head and that refuses to go away. I just want to think all is well and good, even if in my mind I know it very well that my world is crashing down. I cannot stand unquestioning authority over me, I will not tolerate people who blame me for their mistakes. Got it?
A:- Again the same stuff itself. Can't you think like a normal kid?
B:- Oh now you are saying that I am not normal also. Ok tell me, then who is normal?
A:- Oh leave it. Just try to understand one thing. There are some systems and you cannot make a fool of others saying all those deals that is valid if we look from our own perspective. We should be able to look from others point of view.
B: - Ok baba. Give me a break now. I have only two ears and I think I had enough for today. The rest we can keep it for tomorrow. Do not exhaust all the advices in a single day itself. Keep it for tomorrow. Lol.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
What we think, we become
What we think, we become...
is it true..
Merely thinking and dreaming has never proved worth if we consider situations.. aint it?
Actually this was the 10th or 11th time I am getting the same mail. As the title was different, I opened it. Alas, not the same one again.. Yes, it was that mail again, that creepy mail about the phone will ring once you forward it. As I am not that confidant enough in my luck, normally I forward all those crap mails I get to the crap people in my address book. lol.. I did the same this time also. When we read such a mail in an office, any kid can say that the phone will ring at some point of time in a day.
At the first time when I get it, I was really happy and surprised because the phone actually rang (I dont remember whether my wish came true or not). After that may be because of the busy schedule or may be because of the lack of interest I didnt bothered about the phone factor. The wish factor was still there. Actually I dont remember the wish I made in the first time nor in the subsequent cases. How can I keep track of wishes, as the number of things to keep track in a day is endless and I am unable to manage even the pending once from last day. I have to keep track of whom all I have to call daily personally and professionally, what all promises I have to keep on a day to day basis, for which all bugs I have to follwo up, which all birthdays I have to remember, solve problems that me or some body else has created from last days events and conversations and what not. In between all these struggle, the only thing I can forget is my wishes. So naturally I dont remember.
But this time I was unable to make a wish. Nothing came in my mind, I was like some body who has lost all the hopes and dreams in life. So without making any wish I simply forwarded that mail. Just like every time, this time also I thought that I will not do such mean things again. But I knew it very well that the next time also if I get this mail with some other subject I will forward it. I cannot fight with my fortune at any cost, can I? I may be able to fight with my destiny but not with fortune.
is it true..
Merely thinking and dreaming has never proved worth if we consider situations.. aint it?
Actually this was the 10th or 11th time I am getting the same mail. As the title was different, I opened it. Alas, not the same one again.. Yes, it was that mail again, that creepy mail about the phone will ring once you forward it. As I am not that confidant enough in my luck, normally I forward all those crap mails I get to the crap people in my address book. lol.. I did the same this time also. When we read such a mail in an office, any kid can say that the phone will ring at some point of time in a day.
At the first time when I get it, I was really happy and surprised because the phone actually rang (I dont remember whether my wish came true or not). After that may be because of the busy schedule or may be because of the lack of interest I didnt bothered about the phone factor. The wish factor was still there. Actually I dont remember the wish I made in the first time nor in the subsequent cases. How can I keep track of wishes, as the number of things to keep track in a day is endless and I am unable to manage even the pending once from last day. I have to keep track of whom all I have to call daily personally and professionally, what all promises I have to keep on a day to day basis, for which all bugs I have to follwo up, which all birthdays I have to remember, solve problems that me or some body else has created from last days events and conversations and what not. In between all these struggle, the only thing I can forget is my wishes. So naturally I dont remember.
But this time I was unable to make a wish. Nothing came in my mind, I was like some body who has lost all the hopes and dreams in life. So without making any wish I simply forwarded that mail. Just like every time, this time also I thought that I will not do such mean things again. But I knew it very well that the next time also if I get this mail with some other subject I will forward it. I cannot fight with my fortune at any cost, can I? I may be able to fight with my destiny but not with fortune.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Everyone is gifted - but some people never care to open their package!!
Of course, at some point in our life time we get something or somebody that make our life worth living. And it is such a blessing it will not last longer. But the problem is that, some people never care to comprehend their gift once it is with them. They understand the value only when they know that if it no longer theirs. The realization will only come when the fact dawns that everything has gone out of our hand. :))))
It is actually a common thing whether it is a possession or whether it is some blessed relation ship. We spend our time poring over all those deals that we didn't get. We cry over spilled milk even though we are sure that, it will not change anything.
Even though I was like that once, now I have got rid of that silly trait. Once I was a champion for crying and being gloomy. I considered it was a day wasted without crying or being gloomy at least for 5 minutes.
Now it is some what the other end. Today, even if I know that all my dreams are shattered like glass pieces still I over come that blow when I talk to some body or I just have to read something.
As a common human character some times I may feel down and gloomy about my missed fortune or failed battle. But may be in the evolution process I have some what disposed off that thing.
As it is life and there are always instances where life leaves us completely helpless. There are some moments where god almighty will make us to think about the impuissance of human beings. May be that is the moments where we put some effort and decides to take a look in our meek lives. Then we realize that...
I was dying to get out of my school an started my career,
then I was dying to get married and start my dream life..
after that I was dying to have kids.
then I was dying to see my kids as grown up responsible lads.
then I was dying to retire and settle down in a country side inn.
But suddenly I realized now I don't have any days left in my life to live..
with all these struggles I forgot to live my life...
Even though I know that I may face this day at some point in my life, I just want to make it sure that I will not be forced to regret the way I lived my life. That is the only prayer and demand I am having now. :)
It is actually a common thing whether it is a possession or whether it is some blessed relation ship. We spend our time poring over all those deals that we didn't get. We cry over spilled milk even though we are sure that, it will not change anything.
Even though I was like that once, now I have got rid of that silly trait. Once I was a champion for crying and being gloomy. I considered it was a day wasted without crying or being gloomy at least for 5 minutes.
Now it is some what the other end. Today, even if I know that all my dreams are shattered like glass pieces still I over come that blow when I talk to some body or I just have to read something.
As a common human character some times I may feel down and gloomy about my missed fortune or failed battle. But may be in the evolution process I have some what disposed off that thing.
As it is life and there are always instances where life leaves us completely helpless. There are some moments where god almighty will make us to think about the impuissance of human beings. May be that is the moments where we put some effort and decides to take a look in our meek lives. Then we realize that...
I was dying to get out of my school an started my career,
then I was dying to get married and start my dream life..
after that I was dying to have kids.
then I was dying to see my kids as grown up responsible lads.
then I was dying to retire and settle down in a country side inn.
But suddenly I realized now I don't have any days left in my life to live..
with all these struggles I forgot to live my life...
Even though I know that I may face this day at some point in my life, I just want to make it sure that I will not be forced to regret the way I lived my life. That is the only prayer and demand I am having now. :)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life
Some body has said it right...
The ability of being ourselves is the most important thing in ones life.
What is the point living life by entirely losing your self and individuality just for the sake of it?
If I can help it I will better die than surrender my ability to being myself.
Very recently the realization dawned on me, you can make others happy by doing some compromises as far as it does not questions your right to being yourself. But at the moment when you start feeling that the cost you have to pay to make some body else happy is your valuable self, then that is the moment you should start re thinking. Is this worth the effort?
Do I have to do this just to get some appreciation or to build a relation ship.
People may say that relation+ships are based on compromises only. But when one keeps on compromising in relation ships what is the point to be in that? I do have the right to say that if a relation ship cant stand, me being myself, then thats not worth for me. If some body cannot stand, me being myself, then there is no point building upon that, because that will be like wearing something that do not match our physique.
The ability of being ourselves is the most important thing in ones life.
What is the point living life by entirely losing your self and individuality just for the sake of it?
If I can help it I will better die than surrender my ability to being myself.
Very recently the realization dawned on me, you can make others happy by doing some compromises as far as it does not questions your right to being yourself. But at the moment when you start feeling that the cost you have to pay to make some body else happy is your valuable self, then that is the moment you should start re thinking. Is this worth the effort?
Do I have to do this just to get some appreciation or to build a relation ship.
People may say that relation+ships are based on compromises only. But when one keeps on compromising in relation ships what is the point to be in that? I do have the right to say that if a relation ship cant stand, me being myself, then thats not worth for me. If some body cannot stand, me being myself, then there is no point building upon that, because that will be like wearing something that do not match our physique.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Demon in fortune
"if anything can go wrong, it will.
--Murphy's Law
It is also defined in this way: "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way"; "Anything that can go wrong, will," the similar "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong," or, "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
The guy who reads your fortune is on vacation. We don't know what to say... Go visit someone's profile...
The guy who reads your fortune has been killed by some maniac.. hope you are doing well..
The guy who reads your fortune has been suspended, we are looking for some body else.. have patience..
The guy who reads your fortune is on leave.. go and write a testimony for some body by that time...
We are seeing demons in your tea cup... please be careful and don't go for betting...
We cant see anything in your fortune.. something is really wrong with your stars...
These are the message I am getting in my fortune column for about 10-15 days... A lot of things are down other than the network cables.. and my fortune also seems like too down to re build.
And I don't know why, it feels strangely true and unfortunate, not only the reader is missing the writer of my fortune is also has taken a long leave. And he only know whether he has any plans to come back from his long vacation or not. Please accept my prayers and come back soon... If I am alive (if I am fortunate enough to be sane and alive) I will be there to welcome you, my fortune teller. :)
--Murphy's Law
It is also defined in this way: "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way"; "Anything that can go wrong, will," the similar "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong," or, "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
The guy who reads your fortune is on vacation. We don't know what to say... Go visit someone's profile...
The guy who reads your fortune has been killed by some maniac.. hope you are doing well..
The guy who reads your fortune has been suspended, we are looking for some body else.. have patience..
The guy who reads your fortune is on leave.. go and write a testimony for some body by that time...
We are seeing demons in your tea cup... please be careful and don't go for betting...
We cant see anything in your fortune.. something is really wrong with your stars...
These are the message I am getting in my fortune column for about 10-15 days... A lot of things are down other than the network cables.. and my fortune also seems like too down to re build.
And I don't know why, it feels strangely true and unfortunate, not only the reader is missing the writer of my fortune is also has taken a long leave. And he only know whether he has any plans to come back from his long vacation or not. Please accept my prayers and come back soon... If I am alive (if I am fortunate enough to be sane and alive) I will be there to welcome you, my fortune teller. :)
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